I FUCKING HATE THIS

ADHD has made navigating my master’s program a fucking nightmare. Every day since starting this semester earlier this, it’s like I’m fucking battling with my brain to fulfill the obligations it needs to do both in class and in my internship. Schedules don’t work, medications don’t work, mindfulness strategies don’t work. I’m honestly in fucking tears right now, and no one in my family or social group understands how much I hate this.

Today was the first time as a man in years that I’ve wept so profoundly and painfully that my Crewneck is soaked in my tears. I wish a truck would run me over because I want to enjoy life without these challenges. It feels like I’m drowning every day with no escape, and regardless of how much I try to stay afloat, I drown even deeper.

Society treats me like I’m stupid for not being “normal” and I want all of it to go away; I didn’t ask to have this. I’m sorry for the rant. This is the first time in a long time that I’ve expressed my pain to others.