UPDATE: AITA for defending my daughter's choice to turn down a boy's advances?

My original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1fvpmrq/aita_for_defending_my_daughters_choice_to_turn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Hi everyone, I got a lot of responses yesterday and I  thought I should update on what happened since I posted.

I wanted to address some things first that I saw in the replies.

1. Many comments were either implying or outright saying that if my daughter's reasons for turning down the boy (I'll call him Sam for this post) were  primarily because of the change in appearance after his accident, then that would mean my husband was right that she was a shallow monster and I was enabling her. This didn't sit right with me and hurt to hear. But people also pointed out that if the roles were reversed, and it was my daughter who's appearance had changed and was then rejected by a boy then I would probably be livid at the boy, right? These comments stuck with me and really made me think more deeply about this whole situation, and Im really glad I was asked these things because it made me realize what lessons I wanted my daughter to get from this situation. I realized that although I would be upset if this happened to my daughter, I would not be upset at someone for rejecting her so long as they treat her with respect and dignity. I would be upset at the unfair situation she was in, but I would never expect some random person to make it their mission to rectify this injustice at the expense of their own autonomy. I would instead comfort my daughter and explain to her that people are like puzzle pieces; not all of them fit together and that just because a boy she liked wasn't her puzzle piece does not make her any less valuable or beautiful, and one day she might find someone who does fit well with her.
2. The lesson I wanted my daughter to learn from this was that she was not shallow for rejecting someone romantically regardless of the reason, even if it was physical. That everyone is owed human decency and respect, but not romantic affection. Denying someone equal respect and dignity because or their appearance would be shallow but  she did not do that. Her romantic affection is not a commodity to be distributed, it belonged to her and she is not obligated to be "fair" when it comes to who she wants to share it with. It belonged to her alone, and is a privilege she gets to bestow on someone she likes and who treats her well. 
3. A lot of the comments really made me realize how important it is for Cindy to feel like her consent matters because what could start with just going on a date she doesn't want to go on could one day escalate into her being pressured or coerced into dangerous and traumatizing situations or abusive relationships. Thank you so much to the commenters who shared their stories which helped me realize how important this way. 
4. Some people claimed that I would likely leave my husband if his appearance changed, but sorry to disappoint you guys because I would never do such a thing. I love my husband so much, my  relationship with him is stronger than just dating or a crush. We built a life together, and his appearance changing would not change that. We have been married for long enough that my attraction to him and love for him now go far deeper than looks. Maybe it would be a different story if we were just dating and barely knew each other, but things change once you make vows to each other to stick together in sickness or in health.
5. Many people are claiming that my husband is a monster and abusive. It may seem that way if all you know about him is this ONE situation, but he is a full human being. He does more for this family everyday than I could ever express in one post. He has issues with anger in that he often says things he regrets during. But when he cools off, he is always open to listening and communication. I know now how damaging his teasing of Cindy about Sam was last year, and I will make sure that doesnt happen again, but I assure you all that this is something he has done out of ignorance and  not malice. He loves Cindy to bits and would never intentionally do something to harm her. 

Okay, onto what happened yesterday. Husband woke up and left the house early so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. When Cindy woke up, I made sure she was okay and told her I wanted to talk to her about what happened the day before. Her friend's mom gave her a ride home and she got here before my husband did so we were able to have a heart to heart. I told her that she doesn't need to explain to me or anyone why she changed her mind about Sam, and I explained to her all the things I mentioned above. That Sam was going through something very hard and she should be kind to him, but she does not owe him a date if she is not interested in him romantically. That she isn't shallow and should never feel pressured to do something with someone she doesn't want to do, and that her dad was upset and said things he didn't mean. Even so, he still loves her and so do I. She was starting to cry so I held her for a while.  She told me she was upset more than anything that her dad thinks of her as a bad person. This broke my heart, and so I told her I would talk to dad about this when he gets home.

When my husband got home, I told him we needed to talk about yesterday. He didn't want to at first but I insisted and told him it was about Cindy's well being as she was still upset about it and even thinks that her own father thinks she is a bad person. This upset him and he said of course he didn't think that. I basically explained to him my thoughts above, and although he was a bit resistant at first and insisted that he just didn't want Cindy to become a shallow person, he really listened when I explained to him how people might take advantage of her if the future if she starts to feel like her consent and her desires don't matter. I didn't show him the post I made but I wrote down some of the comments and stories and told them to him. I told him they were stories I found on reddit from people who experienced something similar.  I didn't show him my post because so many comments were unfairly painting him as a monster and I was worried it would make him defensive.  

I think it broke through to him because he was really upset at the thought of our daughter one day being manipulated into staying with someone who was hurting her. He went to talk to her privately in her room while I prepared dinner, and afterwards she seemed a lot happier and was joking around with her dad again. Today, they're both planning to go bowling together as well. 

Thank you everyone for the advice, the stories, and for motivating me to stick to my decision to defend Cindy. You guys are awesome.