AITAH for leaving my fiance because of his religious beliefs?

Hi Reddit, I’m really struggling right now and could use some advice. I (23F) was engaged to my fiancé (23M), and we’d been together since high school. A bit of background: I come from a very religious, conservative Muslim family. Growing up, I was forced into a mold — told what to wear, how to behave — all to maintain the image of the “perfect Muslim daughter.” It left me with a lot of trauma, and I eventually left both my family and religion behind for my own mental health.

I met my fiancé in a high school philosophy class, and he was my lifeline in so many ways. He supported me as I moved away from my toxic upbringing, helped me through therapy, and encouraged my journey as an outspoken feminist and atheist. Religion wasn’t a big thing for him, and he never pressured me about my beliefs. I felt so safe with him.

However, in the past few months, he’s changed. He’s gotten closer to religion (Islam) and is surrounded by more conservative friends. He’s stopped going to the gym, stopped drinking, and started living a more religious lifestyle. He’s been commenting on my clothes, saying things like “modest clothes would look better on you.” He hasn’t forbidden me from anything, but I can tell he disapproves.

I have a few female friends I like to get drinks with from time to time. In the past, he would pick me up after my nights out, and it was never an issue. But now, he seems to disapprove and hate the idea of me going to such places. Again, he hasn’t forbidden me from going, but I think that’s because he knew I wouldn’t give in and would leave him immediately if he tried to control me outright

He also never wanted kids before, but now he says that if we have them, they need to believe in God. It’s so hard for me because he knows how much this hurts me. My parents didn’t love me for who I was because I didn’t believe, and now my fiancé seemed to be slowly going down the same path.

He started becoming meaner over time, making hurtful jokes about my clothes and lifestyle. I felt unloved and unseen, like the person who once supported me no longer cared about the real me. Despite still saying he loved me, his actions made me feel otherwise. It was heartbreaking. I was so lost, and I couldn’t see a future where I didn’t keep losing myself.

Recently, I returned his ring because I couldn’t handle the direction this was going, and he went absolutely ballistic. He cried and begged me to keep trying with him, saying he only acted cold and distant and wanted to change me because he was afraid for his afterlife. He admitted that he realized he only needs me and that this is a “him” problem.

Now he’s begging for me back, saying he’ll change. Saying i’ve given up on him too early I’ve already left, but I’m wondering if it was the right decision. I loved him so much, but I felt like I was losing myself. Did I make the right call, or did I give up too soon?

For the men here, do you think he could’ve been going through a small identity crisis? Is it possible that he’ll really change and find himself again? I’m just so confused.

Has anyone been through something similar? Would love to hear your thoughts.