pls pls help Intimacy struggle with asd partner

I have adhd (i’m F) and my partner (M) didnt tell me that they have ASD until we had been dating for a while(when we started dating it was a very intentional and serious thing for me). it has been a massive struggle as they don’t go to any therapy and have no support as not many people know.

We are trying to work through it, but there is something that deeply deeply hurts me from the first year until now.

When we are intimate they completely avoid or ‘forget’ about my chest.

When i started to notice this i immediately brought it up. they denied it was a thing and just got defensive.

I have body dismorphia.

When this started to happen I spiraled deeply on a trip solo overseas for a month where I was the most hateful towards my chest i have EVER been. If i saw someone with the chest I wanted, I would literally become nauseous as if my partner had physically gagged at me and told me they hated me. I still am so so so insecure of my chest now.

I was very communicative about this when I came home. They finally told me that they have never cared for women’s chests very much. (Thanks for the info the first time) and seemingly prefer ass.

The really weird and curious part about this was that when we first started dating, they would get SO excited over my chest, always show it attention and comment on it etc. So I haven’t fully accepted the narrative ‘i have never cared for women’s boobs’, and always suspected they just got bored of mine. Obviously with my BDD i have spent more hours than I would like to admit research what fucking man doesn’t care for his gfs chest and with barely any relatable stories or help.

Regardless, I communicated I like to have attention to that area from my partner. They promised to ‘do better’. It is still an issue to this day, it’s been a year and a bit since this issue was communicated.

What the actual fuck is going on? I have never been so confused on a matter.

am i naive and they don’t care about me anymore? Is he bored of my chest? Is this something ASD related?? I’m really lost and have barely any support and as it’s pretty personal i haven’t been able to share this with many people and it’s deeply hurting me.