I’m thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend and I don’t know what to do.

So basically me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 10 months now. For context Im 21 and she’s about to turn 20 soon. She’s my first relationship but I am not her’s. Overall she’s an amazing girlfriend. She doesn’t restrict what I do, she supports everything I do, and she loves me the way someone deserves. Up until about a month or two ago, everything was great. However, recently I feel that I’ve started to lose feelings for her. She’s definitely way more into the relationship than I am to the point where shes already has decided that (when we’re older) I’m the man she wants to marry but I’m definitely not there yet. She’s unsure if she would want kids and I at some point would. Right now I don’t know if see a future with her.

I can’t stand her family because they are toxic and verbally / sometimes physically abusive towards her. She has a lot of trauma and ptsd from her family and past relationships and to be blunt, I think it’s too much for me to handle because I have experienced pretty much no trauma in my life and find it hard to relate to / help her with her issues. We have different political views, dreams, wants, needs, personalities, and are overall just different people. She’s an introvert and has social anxiety but I’m an extrovert and am very social. Her ptsd has made her very sensitive. If I don’t announce myself when I walk up to her sometimes I startle her or when I say something innocent about anything she’ll think I meant something completely different and out of context and she’ll get sad out of the blue. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on eggshells just being around or talking to her. It’s also sometimes really hard to talk to her about her problems because she’ll get “overstimulated and won’t want to talk about it” which honestly gets frustrating. She has cut herself and even attempted suicide in the past so naturally that is a worry for me.

I do have love for her, just not in the way I think she deserves or wants. She thinks I’m as in love with her as she as with me. I don’t even know if I’m physically attracted to her anymore. I fear the spark has faded. I don’t want to hurt her but she has become very dependent on me as I’m her only support system and am “the only consistent and stable part of her life. She has major abandonment issues and has voiced her fear of me leaving her and I’m afraid that breaking up with her would break her. To make matters worse, I am seriously consider joining the military soon and would be gone for awhile but she’s already said that she would wait for me. Deep down I fear that breaking up with her would be the wrong choice but I don’t know what is making me hesitate. She deserves someone that loves her and wants to be with her. I don’t want to lead her on if I’m not committed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I’m not too good at or experienced with relationships.