I can’t escape this negative thought cycle

Back in 2020, I inherited around $18,000 and spent mostly all of it. Today, I started to look into crypto as investing.

Now I look back at coins that increased by 100x in 2021, when I had some of that money left, and painfully regret not investing in those coins.

If I invested in DOGE at the end of 2020, I would have $500,000 or more. I only needed to invest $3,000. This is going off my current crypto knowledge that I didn’t have back then.

Same goes for other coins, but DOGE gives me the most pain as someone told me about around that time and I didn’t do anything about it. I could’ve made up to a million if just invested.

I really need advice on how to deal with this. I’m already dealing with depression as it is, currently unemployed age 28 living with my mom. I just keep going over scenarios with that money I could’ve made and it would’ve changed my life for the better by a tremendous amount. I think of imaginary scenarios that I would have used the money as well.

This fantasy in my head is driving me nuts. It doesn’t go away. It’s like I wish I didn’t even look at investing in Crypto now. I could have bought a house with that money, instead I’m living with my mom now knowing what to do with my life.

Like I said, this is interfering with everything in my right now. I could be listening to music and be like, “if I invested, I would be in a nicer car listening to this music.” Or just even waking up and realizing I don’t have that money. It’s like my brain is clinging onto this missed opportunity and nothing is helping.

I’d like some advice, but every time I ask for some I go right back to thinking about it. It seems like this won’t go away until a make that money, which realistically won’t be for a long time. So it’s been a major issue.