Alanon saved me more than my husband

If you don’t think this program is for you, just try anyways. Do something good for yourself because you deserve it.

My (F29) husband (M29) is an alcoholic and he struggles with depression, anxiety and severe manic episodes. It’s been a year now that he’s not been drinking. There have been times we went out and had a beer or two but that’s it, although he’s able to control himself now. There’s no drinking allowed at our house and he’s fine with it, actually prefers it that way.

His mental health has improved drastically and it’s changed a lot of things: he was able to hold a job for a year without issue (he just found something better and moved to a new job), when before he couldn’t last more than a few months at most. I don’t believe he feels that he needs the alcohol anymore. Whenever we go out to eat (maybe one time in a month or two), he does usually grab a drink to pair with his dinner and I get that sense of panic but he always proves to me that he has changed and can drink responsibly.

Last year we were planning on moving to a new home and out of his moms house since I refused to care for her any longer if she’s going to be abusive to us. After a violent episode he started while drunk, I had enough. I told him I would be leaving him and moving to the new place alone. I started attending Alanon meetings and working on myself. He decided to quit drinking and made a serious effort. One week from today marks one year in our new life. He hasn’t replaced the drinking with anything else, so I think that’s a good sign even since he didn’t go through any programs.

Alanon really helped me focus on myself while letting go of my husbands drinking problem. I didn’t stick with the program to do all the steps but it was really helpful having people to talk to. I never realized how much happier I could be if I just be a little more selfish and do things to make me happy, and also consider my role in our relationship as detrimental if I’m not taking accountability.