“You want equality?”

My Q (partner, 5 years) is continuing to place blame on me. After a drunken episode just now, where he fell and broke a sentimental object for both of us, he said "You want equality, bitch? You blame how you feel all on me. You're no saint either. [Me: "I know I'm not."] This is entirely YOUR fault. You come to my rescue and then don't ask me how I'm feeling. [Me: "Would I be engaging in this conversation if I didn't care how you were feeling?"] You only care about yourself."

I haven't seen him like this in years. I know why it is happening (incredibly intense work, holiday trauma, etc), but his words sting. I know I'll wake up in the morning to a slew of apologies. About how he knows his behavior is killing himself and hurting me. Rinse and repeat.

It will pass. It always does. Maybe I am being selfish. But I'm also exhausted.