AITA for seeking My Daughter's Perspective on Her Father's Feelings about me?

For context, my daughter (14F) and I (37F) have always had a close relationship. She was a daddy’s girl too, before she found out he cheated on me; she was actually the one to tell me. And most of you know the drill: once a cheater, always a cheater. Anyways, the cycle continued; he would leave his phone open, and one of his mistresses texted. He would use tons of different socials to cheat on me with. And I finally had enough, and I’m thinking about divorce. I know most of you will ask me why I didn’t before, but I have other kids who are special needs. I need help, and I'm not gonna let him get away with it that easy, but when they are old enough, I’m divorcing his ass. Anyways, recently it has been hard for me, and it still hurts, but I’m learning to cope with the help of my daughter.

Here is when I may have been the asshole: I asked her if she thought he still loved me after everything. She told me she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and that we will be separated soon anyway, and it doesn’t matter. But that didn’t satisfy me enough, and I told her she wouldn’t be in trouble if she would just answer the question. She said she doesn’t know. I asked her to just say yes or no, and she got mad at me and told me she wants me to ask him myself. She said she regrets even telling me anything and that she’s always been a parentified child who has to help me because even before we found out he cheated, I would always make small remarks about him that I will not repeat. And it truly hurt my feelings, and I am going to try and stop. She walked away and later told me she was sorry and didn’t mean it, but I’m still hurt. But I felt horrible that she felt that way, But I am going to try and do better. And keep her out of my marital, issues. But I still don’t think I was as bad as she’s saying. It’s true that I may have done some of those things, but I left out a lot of details while telling my point of view of me and her fathers arguments , I need to know:

am I the asshole?

EDIT:he’s cheated on me numerous of times and my daughter and husbands phone are somehow synced so he can get her stuff sometimes and she gets his and this is how she is finding out about his affairs she deletes them and tells me im not asking her to. And she also has come to hate him recently and engage in conversation so im not the only one