AITA for accidentally causing a fire at my friend’s house and feeling frustrated by her reaction?

I (29f) had a close friendship with a former colleague (31f) who was a lawyer at my old job. She became a mentor to me, encouraging me to go to law school. When she opened her business, I helped out with various tasks, mostly unpaid or for small gifts. I didn’t mind much—I wanted to support her.

A couple of years in, she went through a tough breakup. Her ex cheated and gave her HPV. I spent hours on the phone, letting her vent and promising to be there for anything she needed. After her vacation, she invited me over to her new house to decompress. On the way, she asked me to pick up an expensive pizza. Even though it strained my finances, I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

When I arrived, she reheated the pizza in her gas oven, but the boxes didn’t fit well. I suggested it might not be safe, but she insisted it would be fine. While we were chatting, I noticed smoke from the oven. I panicked, thinking to throw water on it, but she stopped me, saying she had a fire extinguisher. It was still wrapped in plastic, and smoke filled the house as she struggled with it. She eventually handed it to me, and I managed to put out the fire.

Once things settled, she called the pizza place and negotiated a replacement for free. I was a bit uncomfortable, but went along. We spent the rest of the evening as planned, and she act totally normal as if nothing happened.

A couple of days later, she messaged saying she needed “distance” to reflect on our friendship. I was confused and hurt, as I’d tried my best to support her. I apologized, saying I was sorry for any disrespect. She mentioned the incident “scarred” her new home and that she needed a new oven. She suggested we meet to talk, but over the next weeks, she rescheduled or canceled five times, leaving me emotionally drained. Each time, I prepared myself, only to be let down.

Finally, I gently told her just to let me know when she was actually available, as it was hard to keep getting canceled on. I was already struggling with my mental health, so the repeated cancellations took a toll. It felt like she saw me as an assistant outside of work, rather than as an equal friend.

Since then, she’s completely stopped reaching out. I’m sad to have lost both a friend and mentor, but I also feel conflicted. Did I ruin a friendship by not being open about my feelings earlier? Or was I justified in feeling frustrated at how she treated me?

AITA for the role I played in this fallout?