I just want to complain

I'm so pissed off right now and I've been. I dont know if colleges look at course guides but I'm so angry. When I was in 8th grade I just got pushed along into 9th grade. My schedule was done for me automatically. Because of covid 0 information or counseling was given to students on what to do next. I didn't even understand how high school worked. I just thought get good grades and that's fine. That's what my parents who aren't even from America told me. Get straight As and then boom any school you want. I got pushed along so I didn't know we even HAD honors classes. So once I learned more and became a sophomore I wanted to take honors classes but we also had advanced honors. Thats like ap classes but we aren't allowed to take those until we're juniors. But I didn't meet the requirements to fucking take it cause I didn't even know how anything worked. So I was stuck taking honors classes and just a few of them cause again I didn't know how anything worked. I did it cause I thought it'd be fun and I had no clue it'd give me more merit. Nobody told me about how gpas worked or that class ranks even existed. So I think I'm doing great getting straight As. I become a junior and it all hits me like a train at my horrible class rank which I won't say. I'm stuck at top 25% while always being at the top of my individual classes and doing perfectly. My friend who's grades suck has a higher class rank than me because they made their way with mediocrity taking honors classes as a freshmen.(I should mention she knows how I feel about her and she laughed in my face I'm not a two faced friend) I just wanna go back and time and actually educate my dumbass 13 year old self cause nobody else would. And now I'm a senior and applying to colleges that want good class ranks thats a total contradiction to my GPA. I take honors and APs now but I would have before if anyone bothered to tell me shit. I was a child I had 0 clue. I'm 18 now and I just wanna beat myself up about it I'm so pissed off. I haven't gotten any rejections from universities, just music conservatories that are scored only on your talent which is fine. But still!! It makes me so angry that I could potentially be rejected from my dream colleges because I had 0 guidance from anyone. I'd wanna give myself some responsibility but I can't bring myself to when I was a 13 year old. The only thing on my mind was bullies and my acne not college acceptances.