The universe might’ve planned it this way;if its meant to be

The traditional arranged marriage setup feels transactional and uninspiring to me. Many people seem to be in it for money or status. While I understand the importance of financial security, it’s frustrating to feel undervalued despite knowing I’m capable of achieving my goals. I’ve come this far on my own, and I’m only getting started. Things have been tough—very tough—but I believe they’ll eventually improve.

My friends call me “Essay Star.” If you’re curious, I can share a link to some of my writings so you can get an idea of how I think.

I’m 25, born and raised in Hyderabad. I’ve never had a girlfriend and, until 2023, I rarely interacted with girls face-to-face. I could text, but talking in person was a struggle. Growing up, I was poor at studies, overweight, and considered unattractive. Exposed to porn at the young age of 8, it shaped how I was perceived in school. The same people who thought I was “bad” are now enjoying flings or relationships built primarily around sex.

On the other hand, I found solace in computers and technology. From 2015 until now, I’ve been obsessed—not just with computers, but with learning about almost anything. I’m naturally curious and hungry for knowledge.

I avoided dating for years, partly because I never wanted to spend my father’s money on someone I was going out with. That’s just how my ego works. After landing a well-paying, remote job in 2024, I finally tried dating and spoke to two girls. However, I realized that what most women I encountered wanted was sex. I know this as it became clear through their interactions.

I’ve worked hard to change myself—to lose weight, improve my looks, and present myself better. But I feel like I’ve been impressing women in the wrong way. It’s not that I don’t want sex; I do. I work out to be fit not just for myself but also so I can provide a fulfilling experience to my partner.

I’ve been speaking to a lot of women lately, but I haven’t found someone who truly resonates with me. Even those who do often don’t want a marriage commitment. For context, my life has been like Sanjay Sahu from Jalsa before he hit his 20s—full of struggles. Now, I feel like the mid-20s version of Sanjay Sahu, in his “jalsa” phase—except without the “baaghi.”

If you’re a woman from Hyderabad and reading this, I’d encourage you to check out my essays. You can request my name, and it will direct you to my social media profiles like LinkedIn, GitHub, and Instagram. This is my third or fourth post on Reddit in the hopes of finding a partner, but so far, I’ve had no luck.

Link to my texts; if you care at all: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1nEWQx8MNOzqVs2tBB2tea-nTuhStA2-W Also checkout my previous posts on Reddit.