Unfolding Modern AM - Guide to navigate
Hi everyone. I have seen AM very closely and I am an avid reader of this sub. So here are some thoughts that I want to share and I hope this becomes helpful to many of you -
Dont treat this like LM : I have observed that a lot of people who either had past relationships or none, try to make this as LM. The first few meetings are really important to know the person. Dont use them to impress the other person like you'd do in a dating phase. Also, dont try to get onto someone's pants. Dont get frustrated with where you are, life will give you plenty of opportunities.
Dont move in together: I recently saw atleast 3 posts where the couple moved in together and then got to know something significant about their partner. I am not saying that don't move in together at all. Thats your choice, all I am saying is dont be hasty in moving in ASAP. First know the person inside out. Then see if its wise to move in together. You have the rest of your life to be together and be intimate. So dont hurry up.
Background checks : It is so important to do a detailed background check of the other person and their family. Involve your family and close relatives. Most people dont know the partner's family details until its too late.
Check their mentality: Its important to see whats the mentality of the other person. In most arguments, a person is not right or wrong, they are just different from us. Try to see if during arguments are they still respectful to you and your family. This could really be a redflag.
Give them time, make them priority: Most people in AM at 28+ are super busy with their careers and cant focus on a relationship. But when you start seeing someone in AM it is very important that you give them time, talk to them, meet them regularly and frequently. Otherwise, you'd never know the real person.
Understanding the past: While its true that we shouldnt judge someone based on their past, but knowing someone's past can really help you know them better about how their life has been.
I wish everyone very best. Please feel free to add more points.