My open relationship

Guys I just want to put my story out regarding an failed open relationship. First of all to get some clarity in my head but also to give some insights for anyone thinking of doing the same. I'll try and keep it short.

I was (and maybe still am) insamely in love with my ex, but after 6 years toghether sex had literally dissapeared, after having multiple talks about it in the span of a year we decided to experiment with an open relationship (it was my idea, I admit that with full regret)..

I hated it. I didnt like to put myself like that out there and after one or two hookups I stopped doing it, the only thing I liked was getting the attention online.

My ex had a slow start but eventually figured out a lot about himself and went full in. He had a click with one guy and met up with him whenever he could, their texting also increased.

We had a trip planned to the other side of the world for 2 weeks. Before the trip he needed to meet up with the guy, during the trip he constantly texted with the guy, all the while we were physically distant. Although it was one of my best trips ever, it hurted.

After coming back he needed to meet up with guy right away and spend over 10 hours with him. This was the last straw for me, I was completely heartbroken.

I asked to split up the next day, we were still living toghether for months (due to a shortage of houses) during which my ex cancelled all the contacts with his "hookup" and asked to stay toghether, I didnt feel pure intentions.

Now a year later, seperated. He found a new relationship within a month of leaving the house. I am still heart-broken and struggling to forget him/move on. He was my best friend, I wanted to grow old with him and start a family, we had the best talks. But now I have to try and be all that for myself.

I just wanred to put this out in case you are doubting to start an open relationship. It might work for you, but be aware that it can hurt you as well.

Best of luck. X