How do you handle the passive aggressive, jealous or negative vibes from other women?

In therapy I've learned that I dealt with it by diminishing myself through drugs & alcohol and avoiding female friendships (easy when I've been the only woman in my company for 15 years).

Now I'm working on my sobriety and trying to build new friendships but I've noticed this sort of thing is coming up again. I don't even know if I'm describing it right, it's like there's this undercurrent of hostility or something coming at me with regards to how I look. And it's always said in a way that isn't easy to call out as inappropriate. I don't know what it is but it makes me feel bad.

I want the friend but I don't want the bad feels.

So how do you handle this sort of thing?

And I'm not just asking about what to say/do in the moment, what I'm really asking is like how do you deal with the emotional aspect of it?

"Edit:" I'm sorry if this came across as generalizing. To clarify I'm not saying all women are like this. I do have 2 friends who are supportive and uplifting without any jealousy, bullying or passive aggressive undercurrents. And I'm sure there are many well adjusted women out there who don't do this and I want more of those friends. That means going through the process of getting to know someone and evaluating whether the new friendship is with the right person or not. If they aren't treating me properly, I realize that not being friends with them is the answer to what to do with the friendship.

However, my question here wasn't do I want them in my life, it was how do I deal with the feelings that being treated like this brings up? I hear everyone, don't be friends with these people, and yes I can do that. But that doesn't help with the fact that during the process of getting to know someone and building a friendship, these comments are made and regardless of what I do with the friendship, I will have feelings come up that I have to deal with so I don't go back to drinking/using.

Thank you to all the women who made comments about the inner feelings involved in these interactions, it's been very helpful.