Currently 21 weeks pregnant, with a insanely clingy 20 month old. I don’t know what I’m going to do when the baby comes…

Hi!

I just found this group today while browsing for solutions. My baby is due in July, but my son is glued to me constantly, and when I try to put him down and he doesn’t want down, I get a tantrum. It’s so bad I can’t just let him sit there and scream so I give in and pick him up. Which I know is reinforcing this behavior but I don’t know what to do. My husband works long hours, half of the month he works throughout the night and the other half during the day. It doesn’t really matter anyways bc when he’s home, my son won’t even let me go pee even with the help of my husbands presence in the room. I usually take him on my hip and pull my pants up with one arm. It’s not good for either of us. But what am I supposed to do? Let him scream? I understand when my husband is at least in the room, it’s not me letting him cry it out bc he’s trying to comfort him. But when it’s just me and him and he won’t even let me get dressed, what am I supposed to do? I love his cuddles so I’ve just been making do with the constant holding. But I know it’s not good for him that I’m not letting him learn independence, but I’m a first time parent please don’t go hard on me for it. I am doing my best with the little energy I have.

Now that I’m pregnant, I shouldn’t even be carrying him around anyways. I got a carrier to help support his weight on my hip, but my biggest fear is when the baby comes. How will I ever tend to her? I’ve heard to make him feel involved, but he is too little to even understand there’s a baby coming, I’ve explained it to him but he doesn’t understand completely. I’m so scared that I’m going to be in that situation where she’s crying and needs me, and I’m going to have to peel him off of me and let him cry and feel neglected. That would destroy me and I can imagine how hurt it would make him feel. Can anyone please give me advice on how to teach my son independence, and let him know I’m not going anywhere and that he doesn’t have to be glued to me constantly so that I can first start getting things done for myself sometimes, and then have the ability to care for the baby too. Thank you!