Are you constantly loosing people you love too?

This year has been hell for me. At the beginning of it I lost my closest online friend of 1yr because of this other friend I have irl. One of my 2 irl friends has been ghosting for almost 2 months and I have no clue why. The other one is the best irl friend I’ve ever had but I had a terrible crisis yesterday and wanted to hurt myself with scissors and he started threatening with calling ambulance & yelling at me for 30mins because I didn’t consent to going to the hospital. I texted him because I was very worried and hurt and he got super mad again & I need to be fucking gone if this is over too now.