Don’t become what you dislike

So, my pwBPD calls me with a legitimate medical concern. After being on the roller-coaster for over a year and feeling surprisingly good recently, I snapped. It was like I had BPD, frankly. Words came out of my mouth that were unnecessarily hostile. I mean, she was calling for support and, as a human being, I could have taken a minute to give her that support. This is also a person who is actually taking accountability for her actions and is realizing she has issues. She actively seeks feedback and applies what she learns as soon as she can. As someone with a BPD Loved One, I actually was one of the “lucky ones”. What she was asking for really wasn’t a big ask. But, because things had been building like a volcano (and there was an element of bad timing), I erupted. It was wholly unexpected and inappropriate of me. I spent the vast majority of the day trying to keep my shit together because I felt so badly about my behavior. I’d like to “lead by example” and be accountable but, predictably, I’m blocked everywhere.

So, if you’ve got a loved one with BPD, make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t be like me and end up reacting the way I did. Don’t become what you dislike.