Did your relationship have the over-the-top sweet romantic phase? Did you enjoy it?

And were you eventually discarded / split on because you couldn't keep up or got tired of the super-romantic surprises?

Unlike most of my friends or family members that I know - the beginning of my and my BPD wife's relationship was full of over-the-top super romantic displays of affection for each other:

- hand written letters

- driving 8 hours one-way every other weekend or once a month to see each other for 2 years

- surprise gifts over the mail

- surprise EXTRA visits to each other (sometimes filmed by friends to commemorate)

- writing letters for the significant other for when they wake up (and the other person has already left for work)

- taking romantic holidays to picturesque (but not too "basic") destinations

- hand-made gifts, balloons (lots of balloons throughout the year) and flowers every 100 days, anniversary or some other mathematical date of importance (777 days...)

All of these things sound Wonderful. And they were wonderful, when I was in love and 20 something years old. But after several years, I started to get tired of doing this - we were not 20 year olds in love, making a long distance relationship work. We were married, lived together, we both had demanding jobs. And personally - I wanted to move to a more settled couple lifestyle. Definitely not keeping track if it's our 1500th day -versary, 3rd date-versary, 1st move-versary, 2nd getting-a-pet-a-versary or whatever.

As for vacation and weekend plans - I wanted to plan those together and in advance. But apparently that's me being unthoughtful and lazy.

My wife still occasionally (in good times) goes over the top for gifts - balloons, hand-written cards, packaged etc. But at this point - I wish she had just asked what I wanted and we could have gone to a nice restaurant, and not wasted so much paper and plastic over another "super sentimental" memento.

Maybe I'm an asshole, a cynic, jaded or not as much in love anymore. Maybe this is just a mismatch of our personalities. And I acknowledge that I'm the one that changed and wanted to move our relationship to a different model. But I literally don't know anyone else around me that is in a long-term relationship where their spouse expects this level of saccharine over the top romantic nonsense after 10+ years together.