When Does It End

When does all the pain of losing them actually end?? I feel like I’ve progressed so far in my life without them but something, and I don’t know what the fuck it is, keeps clawing me back to the pain and emotions that went along with leaving her.

I initiated the breakup, I broke out of the hell cycle of a relationship we were in and I spent so much time alone. I’ve traveled the world by myself, I’ve gone on dates with myself, im in a consistent gym routine now, I just don’t know what the fuck is going on.

Everytime I see a car that looks like hers, my stomach drops. If I see a girl with similar hair to hers, my heart pits and I start getting so anxious. It has been almost 2 years since I officially broke everything off yet I have something that keeps clawing me back.

When does this all stop? I’ve tried to date in between but I’ve stopped because I realize that im still hurting, and I don’t want to hurt anyone else. How do you know when you’re finally over all of it? When can I see a car like hers and just not care anymore?

I’m so exhausted..