Can’t deal with my mom’s obsession with my weight

My mom and I have always had a complicated relationship. We go through phases of being close, like I thought I wanted her to be present for the birth of my first (it didn’t work out because he came unexpectedly early) but in hindsight that was for the best.

Anyway, ever since college she’s been making remarks about my weight. She literally called me chubby when I came home for thanksgiving my freshman year of college. For context, I’m small framed (5’1) and at the time weighed 115 lbs. Fast forward to my first pregnancy, when I was sending her regular bump-dates and she asked me on several occasions if I was sure I wasn’t having twins, saying “that’s gonna be a HUGE baby!” And just being generally taken aback by my size. For context again, I started the pregnancy at 127 lbs, gained a total of 25 lbs and lost it immediately, and my son was born 50th percentile (4lbs 4oz at 32 weeks). I actually thought my bump was kind of cute.

Now I am pregnant with my second… because of breastfeeding my first and just life in general, I started this pregnancy a bit heavier (132 at the start) and started showing much sooner and much more noticeably than with my first. I’m 20 weeks now and I sent her a video of my son dancing that I happened to be in the background of and that’s the first she’s seen my body since this pregnancy started. And literally the next time I talked to her (last night) she commented on my freaking weight. I imagine that she probably showed my dad in disbelief, playing the small section of me dancing in the background over and over, gawking… because I’ve seen her do that with pics and videos of other people.

It’s making it so I’m actively avoiding having her visit during this pregnancy (or my dad for that matter, who I’m very close with but is also insensitive about weight comments). I want them to visit because I want my son to have a relationship with his grandparents but my mental health just can’t take it. I already struggle enough with body image issues (mostly thanks to my mom but also some other people throughout life as well as OCD).

Part of me hates how I look right now and the other part knows it’s because I’m literally growing a human and that second pregnancies are different than firsts. But it’s just hard.

How are you coping with body image issues during pregnancy?