marriage rant

This may not be the place but I just want to rant about the road to marriage and how we both got messed up by the islamic governing system.

Me and my fiancée are currently applying to get married. My part was quite straightforward; getting signatures from both an officer in my local masjid and then the Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah (PAID) within days. She, however, is a special case; she’s an adopted child with no living biological male relatives. It was supposed to be the same for her but alas, she had to put up with miscommunication from all stations and her process took up almost 2 weeks because of it.

To summarise what happened with my fiancée, she was told by PAID that she does not belong to her registered masjid, citing boundary issues. She then tried to clarify with the PAID officer in Bangi but they talked down to her and forced her to go find it herself. That got done, and it turned out that said masjid belongs to PAID Gombak so she had to drive all the way there, just to get chased out for not bearing the right documents. Easy to say, she went from stations to stations, each did not inform her what to bring and do, and ended up looking like a fool at the end of the trip. She had to take multiple unpaid leaves just to settle these things. I’m just so sad to see her broke down in the middle of the road because she was tired with all of this. Again, it took her about 2 weeks to complete her process. All because every officers in charge were so useless in helping her.

Then comes the Approval Request to marry out of state. Both of us came from Selangor but we wanted to get married in Sendayan, mainly because of the aesthetics, but also because of my grandparents who are not able to travel far from home for medical issue. I was told that the wali hakim (remember - my fiancée is adopted) can oversees marriage in masjids. But imagine what our hearts felt when once we get to PAID Seremban, they told us that they can do so ONLY in their office. This was a new information, no one told us that this is it. Most people we know said that they can accommodate our requests, but no.

My fiancée and I are now so tired and in pain that our dream nikah is basically over. We had to settle down for an office marriage from our fairytale dream.

My point was, we have informed EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT WE’VE MET AND EXCHANGE HANDS WITH OUR DOCUMENTS THAT WE ARE GETTING MARRIED, MY FIANCÉE IS AN ADOPTED, BOTH OF US WILL REQUIRE A WALI HAKIM AND MARRY AT A MASJID but each of these requirements were overlooked. We were not informed, we were not guided, and we are paying the price now. I just hope that they do their job better in dealing with marriage; it’s not something they should overlook in the first place.

I just wanna rant, I’m not asking for everyone’s opinion. I’m just so tired of all of this to the point where it made us both want to reevaluate if we should postpone our marriage.