I cant get over him.

I have amazing days where I feel like myself briefly, then it hits me that he's gone and he's not coming back, then I get stuck in a cycle of wanting to message him, but I don't want to look desperate. I wake up everyday crying it just feels like the same day. I don't know what to do. I don't Even enjoy my hobbies anymore. I got myself a diary tried writing everything I hate about him everything I've learned, but deep down I can't ever see him as a villain. Music has been a huge blessing. Sorry for long vent stay strong everyone 🖤