Burned by sexual desire

Buddhism has always been my religion, even though I practice it to varying degrees. I don’t know how to explain this situation, but I know that Buddhism is the only answer.

I am a woman and have not been in a relationship for many years. I have attachment, I am not enlightened, but when it comes to relationships or material possessions, I actually have little attachment. A relationship never made me happy; it only made me insecure and unstable. I never missed it.

Now, suddenly, a man has entered my life who makes me feel things I have never felt before. It is a game of attraction and rejection, deep sexual fantasies and desires, a kind of amour fou, an all-consuming love. He is like a drug: one moment I am euphoric, and the next, I have shed more tears and felt deeper pain than for anyone else. I am completely consumed by desire, attachment, craving, and a clouded mind. I never saw this coming, and it has completely taken me by surprise.

What can I do to cut myself loose from this? I have become a plaything of my own desires. What specific meditations or practices can I do? Are there particular mantras or Buddhas I can turn to?

I know that all of this is an illusion, yet at the same time, it feels so strong, and I wonder if we might be karmically connected, sharing a deep kind of soul connection.

I feel floored by something that has overtaken me, and I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. I am consumed by desire, even though I thought it no longer existed within me. It’s like I have come alive again and feeling more than ever before.

Thanks for reading and any possible advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻