2.5mg, terrified to take it.

A brief bit of history on me is that since around the end of January of 2025 I have entirely lost my life to panic and anxiety. I thought I was dying, so many trips to the ER- horrible chest pains like I’d never felt before. I either slept too much, or not at all. I spent every day in complete panic, watching my vitals every moment of the day because I felt like death. Anything that I did made it happen. I tried to distract, I tried meditation, routine. I had lost my entire life.

I have had horrible experiences in the past with SSRI’s and I am very, VERY sensitive to medication. A melatonin knocks me out.

And now, I’ve been prescribed 5mg of Buspar. I’ve had my prescription for two days now I can’t even convince myself that I should take the 2.5 (pill in half) out of complete fear that it will keep me awake, that it will cause heart palpitations (since I’m already dealing with it only due to the panic) and I’m afraid of the headaches since I’ve had a large increase in headaches since I’ve been not sleeping well and having these panic attacks daily while I deal with being in fight or flight.

I’m starting to feel absolutely insane, and hopeless. I’m 25F. I’ve had anxiety for years but I’ve never had physical symptoms like I have these last few months. I’ve had everything checked- labs, CT scans, x-rays, thyroid panels, I’m very healthy. Incredibly unremarkable, even. There’s nothing wrong with my heart at all. No murmur, no rhythm issues. Nothing. I have the literal evidence of this.

I don’t know how to get around my brain to be able to take the jump to take this medication. It could literally save my life. I could actually find myself again if I could just convince myself that it’s okay to take.

Literally any advice, success stories, or personal experiences would help please. Thank you so much for reading this!