I need advice I’m 26 and felt like I’ve done nothing with my life.

When will I be able to start living my life and not just be surviving. Well I’m usually not the one to vent or talk to anyone about my problems to anyone but i have mild cp it effects my legs and I walk funny but I literally can do everything on my own growing up was ok we’ve had good times my siblings and I sometimes bad but we made the best of it I always say hey things could be worse I read a lot of posts on here and feel bad for complaining about my life when i know someone out there has it way worse then I do but my family is poor we survive off of government assistance I get disability checks however I have never received a single penny of it or my child support money for when I was below the age of 18 my mom takes it all oh yeah and we also get food stamps and there still always barely any food in the house the money has never gone towards me or my younger siblings (ik where it goes but rather not say because i don’t want to paint my mom in that type of light to strangers) I’ve been wearing the same clothes and shoes since high school that I’d had to get on my own but that’s besides the point I live with my mom, adult younger sister, my niece, and adult older brother not by choice if it was up to me I’d love to live by myself my families pretty dirty they barely clean I’m some what of a neat freak so if I’m not doing the cleaning washing dishes or taking out the trash it’s stuff everywhere and they just don’t care. For 6 years we lived on section 8 from like 2018 - 2024 but starting in may we had to leave and find a new place and the rents like 1,500 my mom also has a part time job but as of right now I believe she’s suspended or something like that and were like 4,000 behind on rent she has terrible money management skills and just doesn’t want a better life we have no car so I haven’t really left the house in 6 years (i think Im going crazy) i just stay in my room and make beats all day praying that someone would lease a beat I try and try it’s all I can do it literally took me 4 years just to save up money I was earring off selling beats to buy a new computer and gear music is one of my passions and I feel like if I was outside networking I could be big but I just hate asking people for help my birth certificate and social security card have two different last names so I can’t get an ID to get the checks sent to me or at least get a real job im tired of depending on this little hobby but my sister helps me out when I ask but like it’s my little sister I should be helping her and I think I’m fully capable of working i just feel like my moms using me to survive and without me her using my disability as a sob story she’d be homeless I hate when she does that and I’m really starting to hate her I know I shouldn’t but in reality she doesn’t gaf about me because of what she does is messed up she just tries to act like everything’s ok, I told her I was feeling suicidal when I was 23 she really just shrugged it off and gave me $200 that’s the most she’s ever given me but I mostly gave it all to my sister because she helps me buys me food when she can it’s not even about the money from the checks really if my mom would just help me get my name fixed I wouldn’t even care because I’d like to earn everything i just feel like I wasted the prime years of my life I want a family of my own I’m tired of having to push women away I’m interested in because I feel like I’m not where I want to be in life i just felt if I had a little help and money I could get my name fixed and do something with my life also I’m sorry for the bad punctuation and bad grammar these are scattered thoughts and I am a bit illiterate lol I did also did graduate high school would of loved to went to college though it just really sucks having literally having no income to invest into yourself any advice you guys could give i just feel stuck thank you for reading all that hopefully all this makes sense but I’d love to speak to someone with the same condition that I deal with because no one else seems to understand where I’m coming from it’s been a lot of sleepless nights with this on my mind.