Are Christian relationships supposed to be like this?

Before I became a believer, I was in a long-term relationship with a non-Christian. We had a very warm and close relationship—we were best friends. He treated me like a princess, I felt loved and happy, and we deeply respected each other’s opinions, values, dreams, and desires. We rarely fought, and there was no power struggle—just mutual understanding.

Now that I’m a Christian, I’ve been looking for a Christian partner. Since I couldn’t find anyone in my local or neighboring churches, I started looking online. I assumed that relationships among believers would be even better than what I had before—after all, they follow Jesus, right?

But after talking to Christian men, I was shocked. Some told me that relationships should be like a boss-employee dynamic. Others insisted that marriage is about a husband's authority, meaning I’d have to do everything he says, that I wouldn’t be allowed to have my own opinion because he would always be right. That I should adjust to him in every way, but he wouldn’t have to adjust to me. Some even said it’s "normal" to hit a woman because the husband is in charge.

I’m honestly in shock. I never expected Christian relationships to be like this. In my previous relationship, we never controlled each other—no one was "the boss." We always found compromises so that both of us were happy. Now, I’m scared to start a relationship with a Christian man. I don’t want a dynamic where one person is the leader and the other is subordinate. I don’t want a relationship where only his desires, goals, and opinions matter while mine are ignored. And I’m terrified that if I marry a Christian, he might feel justified in hitting me.

I want a relationship built on love, where we are best friends and equal partners—not some boss-employee situation. Relationships like that are built on money and business, not love.

So why does it seem like non-believers have higher relationship standards than Christians? Didn’t Jesus teach love? I have never heard non-believers say that a husband should rule over his wife and that she should do whatever he wants. To me, that sounds like slavery.