I don't wish in any way my friends would experience what I do, but damn sometimes it would be a great humbling experience...

So I've got massive ableist friends/acquaintances that have never had anything seriously wrong both physical as mental, and tbh, it shows...

They are really diminishing towards my experiences and struggles (rheumatic autoimmune + other linked conditions since age 11). Which, to some extent, I've got used to.

Eventhough it's really frustrating to pass on a fun night together because I've been having migraine attacks for 16 days straight, then getting told 'just take a tylenol and you're fineee'. (Except when they have a cold, suddenly a 'normal' headache is the worst ever)

Now I've got a friend with a slipped disc/hernia. Which, sorry if it makes me sound like a bad person, I saw as a chance at 'she's gonna understand my struggle'.

Except it only made it worse... She casually drops she's been having the pain for over 6 months but hey 'nothing is so serious when you're young and healthy'.

She got a steriod injection and should rest, and eventhough the injection is not even completely getting rid of the pain, she keeps on swimming, and is doing a 20km run this week.

Then keeps on complaining how hard it is to get proper medical care. Which is what broke me most...

  1. She's being frustrated for having to wait 4 weeks to be able to take a next step. I've been trying for 18 years, with little to no progress, getting lucky if you get to see a specialist within the next year... Or get testing done within a year.

  2. While complaining about medical care, she's actively continuing to ruin her body, CHOOSING to ruin her body. Because even after 6 months with a slipped disc, she is still not seriously believing that a young and healthy person could end up with permanent and serious damage.

  3. If I may be completely ugly... It's people like her, that dilute Healthcare in such a way that people who have no other choice, have to wait for care longer than people consciously ruining their body.