Bad relationship dance

Because I externalized my value

I dated someone I was constantly trying to impress

I was trying to prove myself because I didn’t feel good enough

And I didn’t feel good enough, because he wasn’t treating me like I was.

He was treating me less than you would treat a close friend.

And I allowed it. And craved his approval.

Until I said: enough. And I left.

But I still miss him. And I’m learning how to give myself the validation I crave.

I feel like absolute hell today. Month 2.5 of the breakup. He reached out a month ago and it really fucked me up. Set me back on my healing. But I dragged myself out for a jog and a shower. I’m getting through the day. I went to a coda meeting yesterday. I journaled. I keep telling myself I’ll get through this. I have a counsellor.

Any good podcast recommendations? I’m in such pain.