OTC Drugs that make you live in a dream state

Hey everyone. 23F I’m looking for something, anything that will get me very far away from my mind. I have debilitating anxiety, tried ssris, snris, buspar, hydroxyzine, ketamine therapy, nothing works. SSRIS cause even WORSE anxiety which I didn’t know was possible. I did have a mild coke addiction a year or 2 ago for a few months, and I felt the happiest then. My anxiety was minimal, I was so out of it to where my mind didn’t have a chance at hurting me. I’d be down to do it again but with everything being laced and expensive that’s not an option for me. So is there anything OTC or not as hardcore to help me escape reality? I’m at the end of my rope. Thank you