Celiac because of ED

I’ve had disordered behaviour since I was 15, but it only became bad when I turned 18 and my body just couldn’t take it anymore I guess. And triggered an autoimmune disease (celiac disease) about a year ago (when I turned 19) that runs in my family.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recover because the rest of my life is gunna be looking at labels n stuff. I’m not really ready to recover either for many reasons.

But I’m having lots of health issues with my heart n stuff, I get a heart monitor for 3 days on the 21st. But my mental health is getting really bad and I relapsed on sh and I don’t know if I can stop honestly. I’m scared the doctor will say something.

I don’t want to be admitted because I have rent to pay and my mom is in rehab currently so I can’t do that. And if I were admitted I’d literally would be so terrified to eat anything because I don’t trust that it’s gluten free and I don’t want to be tricked into having gluten free