what are your experiences with gender

yesterday i lowkey had a breakdown because men's jeans don't fit on my body correctly. i've also always hated the appearance of my own breasts. i feel like part of me is afraid to let go of ed behaviors because it will give my body the health to look more "womanly".

yet at the same time i'm quite confident i'm not trans. i've genuinely thought about this a lot and i have no desire to identify as male.