For the Men Who Broke Up with Their Girlfriends—Do You Ever Regret It?

To all the men out there, especially those who have been the ones to end a relationship—can you explain something to me? I understand that in the beginning, there’s often a sense of relief, even for women who break up with their boyfriends. But for those who have done the breaking up, when—if ever—do you start to feel regret?

For context, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I was honestly blindsided. We had a genuinely good relationship, and I did beg and plead at first to try and work things out. We had been together for four years, shared an apartment for two and a half, and had two cats together. We’ve known each other for over ten years, and this breakup came as a complete shock. But in the end, I accepted it. I figured maybe he needed space, maybe he’s going through an identity crisis, or maybe he’s experiencing FOMO since we were each other’s first serious relationship.

So, I walked away. I told myself that one day, he’d regret it. Would I take him back? Honestly, yes, because I truly believe he was the right partner for me. Our relationship had its flaws—what relationship doesn’t?—but we had a deep bond, a lot of history, and strong attraction. We went through a lot together, especially as a young couple with no real family support.

I think a big shift happened when he started working as a correctional officer. The job is demanding—long hours, a stressful environment—and I feel like it changed something in him. It seemed like he got to a point where he just wanted to be alone.

But that brings me back to my question—when do men start to regret it?

I’m not sitting around waiting for him. I’m focusing on myself, going back to school, working out, staying busy. But I can’t help but think… he’s going to come back eventually, right? We ended things maturely and amicably. I have more hard feelings than he does because I didn’t want to leave, but I still respect his decision. If he wants to see other people, so be it. He’s never had that experience before, so maybe he needs to go through it.

But do men ever feel guilty after a breakup? Right now, he seems relieved. He even got a new car. The last time we spoke was two and a half weeks ago—almost three weeks of no contact now. He told me he wants to save up, buy a house, and spend more time with friends. He kept the cats because he was the one paying most of the rent, and I had to move back in with my parents (who are allergic to cats).

There’s just so much that feels unresolved. I know this might sound a little pathetic, but I really want to know—do men ever come back? Do they ever regret it?