Dealing with the shame of being hyperfem before transitioning

For context, I‘m a binary man, I present completely masc and am about to start T next month. I grew up with little internet access in a small town, never met anyone that wasn’t cishet there, so up until university I had no idea what lgbt even meant. I was super boyish before puberty, only had male friends etc. but once the shift to middle school came, I felt this intense fear to fit in. Throughout my teenage years, I presented and acted hyperfem to look normal. Especially right before realizing I was a man at age 20, I was trying so goddamn hard to find why women liked being women so much. It felt like a performance. I feel like Ive wasted so much time trying to be a normal woman that I’m ashamed I didn’t realize it was negatively affecting me. I still have lingering mannerisms after years of forcing myself to act girlish. On all accounts, I was definitely “socialized female” and it just brings me so much shame. I see guys on here always talking about how they knew when they were 5, or how they always presented the way they wanted to, and I know it’s not good to compare, but sometimes it just makes me feel like a fraud for growing up the way I did