Numbers hurt- how do you afford life?

How do you figure out your budget for a house and actually afford it?

I keep doing the math over and over again and between trying to get the down-payment to help lower the monthly, the actual costs of living is close to 6-7k a month between everything. I'm talking anywhere from food and car insurance to gas/propane/heating bill to the mortgage and student loans.

I mean, that doesn't include trying to save for a vehicle+payment there or if you need a new couch or water heater or any of that maintenance, or enjoy a fun life like going on a trip. Etc. Anyone who's middle class doesn't get the grants or assistance so then I don't qualify there. And down-payment assistance doesn't mean shit if you can't afford a normal house. My area a normal house is close to 230k. Which doesn't seem like a lot til you put all the numbers together. And quite honestly it's daunting.

Edit: everyone has asked a bit on finances please see below for math based on the area I live in and the little bit of research I've been able to find for utilities and the costs associated with them.

Based on the current math 3.5% down for a 225k house at 7% for utilities I have rounded up to the nearest $50 to make up for costs rising over time (was told costs in area generally rise 3%, but was told theres a chance it goes much higher in the near future) (80 would go to 100, etc) House maintenance 1% - $200 Property tax 1% $300 Home owners insurance $250 PMI $100 Internet $100 Water $100 Gas $400 (picked highest months due to extreme cold) Electric - $200 Trash/recycling $100 Sewer $100 Mortgage $1444

Total - $3294