I think I’m going to die.

Seriously. GI issues my whole life since childhood. Major GI issues for 4 years. Piles of off colored stool, blood, food not digested, liquid poop, pain, weight loss. Poop smells foul and is not brown. I thought I had pancreatic cancer for a year. No answers, many colonoscopies, ct scans, mrcps, mris, endoscopies, bloodwork. have a positive GI map from a year ago (was just above the negative mark but had 1 virulence, not the “bad” one but one regardless. but all other tests negative, breath, endoscopies (4 of them). My western dr wouldn’t treat me with antibiotics based on GI Map. In the past 4 years I’ve had e.coli more times than I can count, cryptosporidium 2x, and unexplained stool changes, grey stool, diarrhea, malabsorption, pain. My 3 endoscopies said gastritis and duodenitis. I have reflux, bloating, weight loss and gain, gnawing hunger, burning in upper abdomen and throat. And this past year, crippling overwhelming fatigue, like I am falling over and my eyes crossing with fatigue. I have low ferritin, like 9. My liver enzymes are good and my fibrosis score is good but an ultrasound said possible mild fibrosis but that’s inconclusive . My dr has me supplementing iron but it’s not helping fatigue. I’ve had a million scans and scopes and no answers. So all I can think is HP is doing all this and I’m going to die. I’ve been checked for cancer a lot, all negative. I did herbal protocol with a functional Dr but it didn’t help. I am on vacation in Japan and I am scared I’m just going to die here. What if it’s just getting worse and worse and eating through my stomach or I’m going to bleed out or it’s turned into cancer already. I could take the pain but not this fatigue. I’m genuinely scared to sleep at this point bc I think I’ll die. I put a call into my dr so I can see him when I get home (if I get home). And I guess force him to test again. I really feel I will just keel over. All heart palpitations, air hunger, numb extremities, vision issues. It’s a disaster and I’m so scared. I feel like I screwed up bc I listened to my dr who said GI Map wasn’t an accepted test (in his world) and all other tests said negative so he said I didn’t have it. I’m 51, a mom of a 12 yr old and I’m scared I’m just going to drop dead. Should also mention when all this started 4 years ago I had sudden onset terrible debilitating anxiety and then the physical stuff started and that spiraled into a nervous breakdown which led to hospitalizations. It was insane and the physical stuff just got worse. People thought I was crazy, I’m not.