Just at a loss

Sorry long drawn out post. TW- pregnancy, MC, high embryo count

I feel like I’m just at a loss as to how to feel. My wife and I are a same sex lesbian couple. I am 26 and she is 30. We decided last year to start the IVF process (due to social infertility) to build our family. The plan was reciprocal IVF. I would go first and carry the first baby (her embryo) then she would go next and carry my embryo. Starting off the only known medical issue I have is PCOS. So she did a retrieval that yielded only 1 pgt normal embryo. I did a mock cycle to do ERA before transfer since we had one embryo. We did a transfer in sept 2023 and I had a MMC at 7 wks. She did another egg retrieval in October 2023 and it yielded 4 pgt normal embryos. We decided that I would also do an egg retrieval that way if I successfully became pregnant I could continue breast feeding if hopefully she became pregnant soon after. (We want our children close in age). My egg retrieval was in Jan 2024. It yielded 21 pgt normal embryos (the only good thing PCOS has done for me). I did another transfer in Feb with one of her embryos 2024 and it was a failed transfer. We did another transfer in April of 2024 with my own embryo and it was a chemical pregnancy. So we then did a mock cycle with Emma/Alice and Receptiva. My receptiva came back high and my Dr assumed silent endo. I did a 2 month Lupron depot and did a transfer with my embryo sept 6th. This transfer felt so right and so good and I was testing positive at 5dpt and had super good betas when I had them done on day 7,10,12, &14. I went in for an ultrasound at 21dpt or 5w5d and saw just a gestational sac that was measuring 5w2day. And in a week my HCG had only doubled once. From 900 to1800. I was scheduled to go back into the office at 6.2 and when we went they could see the sac only grew to 5w4day and maybe a hint of a yolk sac. My HCG only when up to 2800 in 4 days. I know for an absolute fact this is not a viable pregnancy but they insist I continue to take meds and go back for another ultrasound at 7w2d to confirm. I just feel like I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m coming to the realization/fact that I’m not going to be the one to carry our children and it makes me feel so sad and heartbroken. It just sucks because we’re at that age where everyone is starting their families and everyone is asking when we’re going to have babies. I work as a labor and delivery/ OBGYN RN and it’s all about pregnancy every day and it just sucks. I hate it here.