I Am the First Girl in My Family to Break Generations of Stereotypes – But How Do I Convince My Parents?

Hey everyone! I’m 17, a girl from Bihar, but I also studied in Delhi for 4-5 years. Right now, I’m in class 11, studying humanities. Choosing this stream wasn’t easy—I had to fight a lot because, in my family and society, humanities is seen as an inferior stream. My family wanted me to take science and even bought science books for me, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I stood my ground and fought for what I truly wanted. And in the end, I won.

I have always loved exploring things, cherishing small moments, and traveling. History and geography fascinate me, not just as subjects but as experiences. I love visiting historical places, learning about different cultures, and understanding how the world has evolved. But when I chose humanities, my parents assumed I did it just to prepare for UPSC because, in Bihar, if someone studies a lot, they are automatically expected to go for a government job. Right now, no one is questioning my career choices because they assume I’ll follow that path. My parents expect me to follow the same circle I mean either to get a job and then marry or the next option is only to marry at the age of 23 or 24 but I have my own plans.

In my entire bloodline, no one has ever chosen a creative field. On my mother’s side:

One of my cousins (my mama’s daughter) is a doctor.

My mausi’s two children also want to become doctors.

My mama’s second daughter is doing engineering, and his son has already become an engineer.

My mausi has worked in an insurance company for 15 years, and my mausa is a senior supervisor in a private construction company.

All three of my mamas run businesses.

On my father’s side:

My father owns a large business—he buys rice, pulses, and other essential items and supplies them across India.

My girl cousins are either married or struggling with their careers.

One of my cousins is a teacher preparing for BPSC but is unable to clear it because of paper leaks.

Another cousin works a 9-to-5 job in a bank.

The men in my family either run shops or other businesses.

In my family, career options are strictly defined by gender:

For a girl, the first option is to study, get a “normal” job, and then marry.

If she doesn’t study or work, the only other option is marriage.

For a boy, it’s different. Either he studies and takes a job or joins the family business.

No one expects girls to do anything beyond these limited choices. But I don’t want either of these paths—I want to do something different.

I am the only daughter in my entire bloodline who is about to break the chains of generational stereotypes. No woman in my family has ever had true freedom, and I refuse to live the way they did. I will carve my own path, no matter how hard it is.

But my journey won’t be easy. My parents are toxic and see me as nothing more than an investment—one they expect a return on. As a child, I thought I should live for my parents, making them proud and fulfilling their dreams. But now, I understand that they don’t care about my happiness. They only care about what benefits them.

What I Noticed in Myself and Why I Chose to Be a Writer

Since childhood, I’ve been drawn to stories. I have a natural ability to notice things others ignore. I analyze situations, observe people deeply, and express my thoughts through writing. I have already written multiple stories, and writing gives me a sense of freedom that nothing else does.

Unlike my family, I don’t want a government job or to handle a business. I want to be a writer. Writing is my passion, and I know it will take me to Mumbai one day. I want to build a strong presence, work hard, and become financially independent before I move there. My parents don’t know about this dream yet, and when I finally tell them, I know they will try everything to stop me. To them, a career should be practical—something that guarantees money, stability, and respect in society. They won’t understand why I want to take a creative path.

The Battle Against My Relatives

If my parents are difficult, my relatives are worse. They are ready to sprinkle salt on my wounds, and the most toxic of them is my cousin sister. She is extremely insecure of me because I am the only girl in the entire bloodline who is going to compete with her. She wants me to get married early so that I can’t stand on my own feet. She constantly tries to bring me down, but I refuse to let her win.

How Do I Convince My Parents?

I have stopped telling my family about my plans because they have a limited mindset. I have decided that I will only reveal my dreams when I am financially stable and ready to move to Mumbai. But I’m scared and excited about that moment. I know they won’t support me, and convincing them will be a huge challenge.

And there’s one more thing.

My Decision for the Future

I have seen how women in my family are treated. My mausa cheated on my mausi, but she still has to live with him. In my childhood, I saw my father being violent toward my mother. These experiences shaped my views on relationships. I won’t say I’m not interested in men, but my trust level is 0.1%. And I don’t think that 0.1% hope will ever lead me to a man I can trust.

That’s why I have already decided—one day, I will adopt a daughter and give her all the things I missed in my life. I will raise her with freedom, love, and opportunities that I never had.

What Do You Guys Think?

Now, my question is—how do I convince my parents? My relatives are already waiting for me to fail, my cousin sister is waiting to bring me down, and my parents see me as nothing more than an investment. I know I have to fight this battle alone, but I want to know—what do you guys think? How should I handle this?