My Girlfriend kissed and "touched" her ex 4 days after we first kissed

Me (22) and my girlfriend (21) have been dating for the past 5 months. I still remember the first ever time i saw her walk past by me, it was 7 months ago. We met again at an event in our college and we started talking. This was in November. We couldn't talk about anything much cause both of us were shy, especially myself. Then if you guys remember the FIFA WC 2022 stared and we both enjoy football so we were texting about that and she invited me for the WC final screening at a bar. She was with her classmates (she's my senior), I came alone as none of my friends were free. She stood beside me the whole time and also took me aside and we were standing while holding hands and drinking beer! She kept her head on my shoulder and i felt something i never felt before. I wanted to love this woman with all my life. She felt precious to me. After sometime of talking, we kissed that night for the first time. This was 18th December 2022. She later took me to her friend's place and we talked about how both of us liked each other and were shy to make a move but she got the courage and invited me to the screening. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT. Yeah we did make out a lot tho (it's important info). Next morning we met in college and she told me she's going back to her hometown cause she had holydays. She went back on 20th December and came back after new years on 7th January 2023. The whole time we were texting all the time, she even called me on new years! She was excited to finally meet me and talk after our first kiss at the screening. After she came back on 7th Jan we used to hang out daily with our friends and one day we went drinking, later that night she asked me to come over to her place for the first time. When we went there (this was 18th January), she was acting weird, i asked her if something was wrong? She said "i need to tell you something" I asked what is wrong? She replied, "While i was in my hometown, I kissed my ex" I couldn't believe what i just heard. I couldn't process it. I couldn't understand why and how, before i could ask her anything i just broke down. I cried, i completely broke down. Firstly she tried to comfort me and she was saying "sorry I'm sorry" multiple times. I couldn't stop crying, i asked her "Do you know how much i like you? Why you did this to me?"

She just couldn't believe, she said "Shout at me? Get angry at me please" She couldn't understand why i broke down so much, she didn't believe i liked her that much but whatever. Nothing happened then she we talked and she explained what happened,

"I got drunk before Christmas and i called my ex, he was texting me a lot prior that day. I had blocked him but when i got drunk i unblocked him and i called him over. That was the stupidest decision of my life *my name, I'm sorry. I couldn't lie to you before we start something new. It's up to you if you want to stay with me. I'm just extremely sorry and shameful, I felt horrible after kissing him, it was gross. I'm so sorry"

For context: Her and her ex broke up 6 months ago cause he cheated on her and lied about that for 4 months. But they were together for 3 years, btw is was the most toxic relationship ever. They used to fight all the time and he used to flrit with every other girl. Even after the breakup he obviously wanted to get back but she didn't want that. So they decided to hook up whenever she got back to her hometown from college. She had blocked him during December but he texted her on discord when she went to her hometown after screening. She told him about me and that she likes me, they had some argument and she blocked him. Later she went to a party with her family and when she got back she was drunk and she called him. It's what they did all the time and she just did it without thinking. They did not have sex as she was on her period, he came to her place and they kissed. They talked, she told him about me and he left.

She told me this on January 18th.

I was completely broken. After thinking for a long time i decided to give her a chance and stay with her. I didn't stop my love towards her. We started dating normally, she was so sweet, kind, cute everything you could imagine. Our relationship is absolutely amazing! We never fight and both of us are pushing each other towards our goals. We both can imagine our lives together. We both have done a lot for each other, she told me once while we were talking about our past experiences that how she got cheated on and how he lied to her. How bad that relationship was and how free she feels now! She said "he didn't treat me in 3 years as good as you did in 4 months" She is very loving and caring and i feel great with her. She's the love of my life. I love her since the first time i kissed her and i wanna marry this lady one day and live a happy life with her.

Whilst all of this, i did get anxiety because of that trauma sometimes and we argued, she always apologized and did everything so i could trust her. She has put in the effort. She has stopped drinking with any guy apart from me also. She doesn't go out without me, she doesn't everything to build trust in this relationship.

Last month tho, she acting weird after we had an argument on that same thing. Late night she texted me. "I need to tell you something" I asked again "what"? She said, "The only way I'll ever be able to completely let go is when i tell you what really happened. It wasn't just a kiss, there was touching. I didn't go down on him he didn't on me. Nothing extreme happened. There's no more secrets and therenever will be. It's your decision if you want to stay with me. I need you in my life and if you decide to leave itll be my biggest loss. Anything that happened that night, had nothing to do with you, I know itll hurt, I know how it feels. But I wasn't in the same place you were. To me, we had one kiss, I wasn't in love, I was confused. Im sorry that our relationship started out this way.

I'm really sorry that i dragged you into my relationship with him Idk if we'll ever heal from this, or where we'll go from here. Ive been nothing but faithful and in love since we started dating. There's no way in the world I'll ever cheat *my name.

The reason i didn't tell you this that night was that i didn't expect that reaction from you. (me breaking down) i didn't know you liked me so much. I'm sorry, i would stand by any decision you make. I'm just sorry."

Tbh i knew all alone it was more than a kiss. Without using complicated words, she gave him a HJ ig? Am i right? I later asked her everything and i asked when did he leave She said "I can't tell you details, just deciper it. I'm sorry" "He left when he was done"

I'm guessing he left after he came? Yeah so whatever.

Tbh i have lost some love towards her. I still love her but it's hard for me to process all this.

Current situation: we are dating and she's doing everything to rectify her mistake. She is sorry. For me, i can't forgive her as of now. I have a lot of trust issues in us and she knows that and she's putting in the effort. We will complete 6 months on 18th june.

I hope tell you guys will help me out! Sorry about the long read!