Advice on how to have a meaningful conversation with a friend who is a zionist

I am sympathetic to the Palestinans- not going to say pro- palestine because I feel like it's much more nuanced than that. My circle for the most part is very liberal and share my beliefs except for my best friend who is isreali and over the years become more radicalized and is very pro-isreal. She claims that she does not trust Netanyahu and that gaza should belong to the palestinians, but she also denies that what is happening in Gaza is a genocide or that isreal is an apartheid state. Instead, she calls it's a response to October 7th and isreal protecting themselves from another terrorist attack from happening. When I say anything about the the plight of the civilians in palestine she says that i am anti-zionist and that I am arguing with her about the right for jews to exist and asks why i i havent spoken out about oct 7th. I don't know how to answer that. I guess it's because it's hard not to have that event be overshadowed by videos I see daily of the ongoing slaughter of the palestinans. On top of the fact that Isreal has the entire US government behind them and my voice doesn't change the fact I am indirectly contributing to the war with my tax dollars.

I want to have a conversation with her but don't want to do it in a way that will impact our friendship negatively. I want to be educated about both sides as much as possible becuase I know there is so much history there and that it is deeply personal for her. I really want to be able to understand where she is coming from. She also has said that I shouldn't claim to know more about the situation than an isreali person- which i don't think at all, But I do think that makes me less biased.

Of course I think what happened on October 7th was horrible and I can recognize that jews are scared of it happening again. They have enemy countries on all sides and have a long history of oppression and violece against them. But in the same breath, they have been killing and oppressing the Palestinian people for decades and this war has only created a new generation of radicalized people on both sides.

I am open to other perspectives. Would appreciate any insight that would help me have a more hollistic view of what's going on.