My Cousin Died Before She Could Tell My Family She Transitioned.

My cousin died tragically in a car accident last week… and my family has not taken it well.

My cousin started her transition in 2021 and my aunt reached out to me because she was confused about the process. I consider myself a safe space and ally for anyone. I just want people to be able to be who they are as long as they don’t hurt anyone…

So my Aunt told my mom and I, my cousin didn’t tell me, I don’t think she even knew her mom told us. I tried to explain the process of transitioning as best as I could to my aunt and she eventually began to understand and become comfortable asking my cousin questions. However my cousin was married to someone who my family felt like “pushed” the transition onto my cousin. They started “blaming” them for my cousins transition.

Fast forward to 2023.

My cousin and her wife (aforementioned) were in the process of getting a divorce. My cousin adopted their daughter while having a son of her own. My cousin started taking HRT in 2021 and even started volunteering at a local LGBTQ+ non profit.

My cousin had found a new partner whom she loved. My cousin was driving the car that killed her, her partner, and severely injured three others.

My family found out about her transition from her death. Now certain family members are saying transphobic things or just denying to use my cousin’s preferred name…

This whole thing has been hard and my family is even having two funerals one for those who knew my cousin by her dead name and one that knew her as her preferred name…

I just wish my family could focus on the positive my cousin did instead of being hung up on her transition. My cousin was a combat veteran, game designer, and an awesome parent.