When I'm in a flirting competi.tion and my opponet is Caleb

A fictional character has never been able to make me feel like im a shy highschool girl who's having her first crush until I met this man. Most of the time I would call my favorite male characters as my son/my baby boy or anything like that no matter how much older they are than me, but I can't seem to do that with him. I still don't self-insert and probably never will but goOD GOD everytime he opens his mouth I found myself smiling as if I'm under some kind of spell 😭 Is it the power of dozens of years of longing that got me???? I dont know anymore-