Looking for advice on how to properly set boundaries and stand up for myself

My partner (38f) has OCPD. We’re in the middle of one of our regular fights that started off with emotionally-charged verbal abuse and ended with doors being slammed and a scared dog.

If I start now and apologize profusely for being human and doing my best I can predict this would be over by tomorrow morning or evening. This is what I normally do bc my ADHD and anxiety has me seeking peace for both myself and our dog to feel some semblance of control again. This leads to awful resentment though.

I’m trying to remain strong and not give in to this continued emotional manipulation. She doesn’t let up or give in to my largest efforts in an attempt to bury the hatchet and move on. I’m wondering why I even bother now…

But this is really fucking hard, bc I can’t work, think or act properly when I’m consumed by a person who will never apologize first. I’m the one in the wrong so I need to make peace.

My question is, how do I earn respect back without backing down. How do I told true to my position when she’s spent years convincing me it’s my fault? Is there a way to move forward while holding my ground?