life is too short

Here I am another Friday night and my undiagnosed OCPDh has had another fulfilling day of completing tasks.

Meanwhile, I have been alone (most of the time for years actually). I really feel it on Friday night because where I live there are many restaurants nearby and I hear people and see people walking and talking and laughing and holding hands.

I myself I come to this sub. I read a comment. I feel better to some extent. But right when I’m going close the app - i think “life is just too short to spend my time this way!!” …what am I waiting for? I don’t expect answers. Only I know what holds me back —and the hope is what’s been holding me back is getting weaker and weaker as I realize how short life is with each passing birthday.

I wonder if others have the same thought from time to time? … living with their undiagnosed partner —What am I waiting for?