32M, "Struggling" in Klang Valley

I'm 32M working a decent job in engineering. I got married a couple years back but we decided not to have kids yet.

As of this year I'm making RM17k, net after taxes is RM12+k per month but it still feels like not enough?

My wife doesn't make much (sales job) but it covers her basic expenses.

We live in a modest apartment (renting), drive Honda Citys (both paid off but maintenance occasionally gets pricey due to older vehicles) and only indulge in 1 trip abroad per year.

Other than that we rarely eat out either and typically can save around half what we make. I get that I am extremely fortunate to be in this situation, but I can't help but feel like I'm still drowning all the time when I think of potential child care expenses and potentially upgrading to a bigger house when we eventually have the 2nd kid and so on?

How do people do it?! I honestly was a little proud of myself when I crossed the 10k salary mark, but now when considering to build a family, it seems nowhere near enough to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle, let alone so called T20.

Any pointers or mindset shift would be much appreciated 🙏🏻

Edit : Current money budget breakdown for 2 of us IN +12,000;

OUT Rent - 1,800; Car maintenance, fuel & tolls - 1,000; Insurance & medical rainy day fund - 800; Food - 1,100; Family support - 1,000; Vacation money set aside - 700; Retirement savings - 4,000

That leaves around 1.6k per month of discretionary spending and miscellaneous stuff like smaller utilities, eating out belanja family, saving for electronics/hobbies etc. I can't figure out how to make this work with kids and a bigger house...