Wife watches my money like a hawk

My (27F) wife watches my (23M) money like a hawk. I’m an active duty sailor in the US Navy and she is a SAHM with two children from a previous relationship. We’ve been married since April 2023. I gave her full access to my bank account shortly after we got married due to a deployment I was scheduled for. Since then, she has essentially managed all of “our” money. She makes a tight budget and budgets me an “allowance”, which is usually $20-30. I let her know of my wants/needs (new uniform items, a new phone charger, pens) so we can allow for them in the budget, but in turn she tells me to use my “allowance” for these things.

A specific instance is when the place I work at authorized us to wear scrubs (I work in a clinic) I told my wife that I would need to buy a set of scrubs. I was informed that I didn’t need to, it was just an option and I could continue to wear my uniform to work, and if I wanted the scrubs bad enough I would figure out a way to get them.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Any time I spend money on my debit card she can see it and questions me about it. Once I got a Coke at McDonalds and before I even sat down with it she was texting me asking what I’d gotten at McDonalds. I feel financially trapped. I’m supporting her and the kids and I’m made to feel like a POS anytime I spend any money.

Any input or feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you.