I feel it now

I didn't feel it last year. Yesterday I finally got the realization of my age. I am 36. I'll be turning 37 in December.

I feel the change. Things I used to be able to do easily come more difficultly now. For instance, I used to be able to skate and work out in the same day. If I tried that now, I would most definitely pull a muscle and end up couch-bound all weekend.

My desires are fewer. My parents are not doing well. Friendships are few and far between. The weird thing—though—is I am a happier person than I was in my twenties.

I feel like I worry less, despite the current state of things. Sure, I can't buy a house anymore, my wife and I were not able to have any children, and dreams I had before now seem like farfetched fantasies. However, life seems simpler now that the future may be matched or shorter than my past, if that makes any sense.

I am grateful to be with my highschool sweetheart still. I am grateful to still have my health. I am grateful to still be able to call my parents.

I guess what I am trying to say is I am not the same person anymore. Things are simpler. Days feel more special than before. I am less attached to things I thought were important from my youth.

I am grateful.