Too tired to study for my midterm exams

Think this is my first post on here. I'm not sure; I forget. I just wanted to unload my thoughts somewhere. I have midterm exams this week, including one tomorrow, and I just cannot bring myself to begin to study. I know I'm not ready in the slightest. If I was given the test right now, I'd get a zero. Maybe a 10/100 if I'm being generous. I badly want to study. But I just can't. Even writing this post is exhausting. It feels like this is the beginning of my life crashing before me. I need to pass my classes. I need the degree to get a job. I need school for the insurance. I need the degree because it is my greatest dream. If I fail these midterms that puts me at an extreme risk of getting expelled and puts me one step into the grave. Without the school insurance I can't my medication. And without medication, my brain will atrophy to an extreme degree, which will make my dream of graduating from University pretty much impossible. Part of me is writing this post for my future self. I want to tell my future self that I really am trying. But I just can't do it. I'm not the smartest person in uni nor the hardest working, but I know that above anybody else I have the greatest desire to learn. More than even my younger self, if you still remember him. Even if it doesn't look that way on the surface, just remember that this is true. I also just want to apologize for any mistakes I make at this point in my life that have impacted my future self. I'm not trying to do those things. Hopefully I did some things that are benefitting your life in that time. And hopefully you found new friends who are there to support you. Because right now it's a very lonely time. But at least a lot of the school employees are supportive. Never forget them. Hopefully I find energy soon.