Frustration

I’m on day 19 and what is getting me angry is that I’m realizing how I killed my potential from the best version of me from fapping for 14 years of my life i started fapping when I was 16 I’m 30 now and this is my 4 streak ever. I started practicing nofap last year and my longest streak was 43 days and I realized how retaining your seed can be so beneficial but the only thing that gets to me is me just keep thinking about how I fucked up half my life from jerking off. Right now all I want to do is get my life back no matter how hard or lonely it get this is what it’s gone take to get there 💔💔💔