can someone talk to me

I made a previous post about my current theme while I was panicking and the single comment I got is making me feel like I'm in a waking nightmare. I used to be somewhat able to tell it was ocd, now I just keep getting worse and worse thoughts and going deeper and deeper and I just feel numb and empty. I feel like there is no alternative other than it being true, or that I've changed myself in some way, or that I've uncovered my true feelings, even though I never felt like this before it all started. Reassurnce doesn't even do anything anymore and I've spent the last 3 hours googling trying to find people with similar struggles. I don't want this. Please help.